needlessly angry

anger is such a baggage. the irony of saying that matter of factly from someone who lives and breathes it. I am admittedly an angry person, highblood mo lang! and yet it took me another person's anger to realize that I just might be carrying something I could do better without.

and so the story goes...

ms culturally different from me berated me for inconveniently causing her to lose her appetite because of my reminding her that we were following a supposed scheduled for the study tour I was now what I considered unfortunate to be part of. by my standards it wasn't disrespect, given she was munching for almost an hour. by my brand of work ethics, respect is democratized. it wasn't disrespect, just part of the job description.
and so she rants and threatened this would reach my superior. and so the trauma of actually feeling inefficient,
ill-mannered and yes undeserving of the job I have once considered lucky to have.
having accidentally entered a room with her cursing me to bacterial- level actually made me feel headless. the trauma of hearing someone reduce you to something your not. I died that instant.

I died and realized she can't be what she claims to be and yet not acknowledge that I wasn't insensitive to her stature on the society she belongs to, I was simply ignorant of some cultural laws that orbit their planet. I know ignorance is no excuse, but im actually paid to coordinate activities and it naturally involves time management and avoiding delays. I do practice courteousness, maybe just not enough for the royalty she is considered to be. so there, kill me!

I apologize to her highness sincerely. It wasn't just saving ass, I might actually be saving the head i felt I already loss.
if there's any good in having my head served on a plate, it was for the first time I opened up to my boss and I got just what I needed most, a pat on the back and good words for the troubled soul.

ms culturally different handed me the rope and I'm not hanging myself, anger and indifference will be on its feet with no flat surface to step on. humbled, I now pray for consistency.